In a word YES!!!!!!

Every thing was pretty much normal until Thursday morning, I woke up with a splitting headache (bordering on a migraine) and my throat was sore and clogged with thick saliva. My intention was to get up gargle and take a sinus Tylenol. By the time I had cleared my throat it felt like it was on fire and I was able to spit out some blood. I went to the kitchen to get the Tylenol, but figured I needed to take a few sips of water to lube up the throat and prepare for the pills. I couldn’t swallow the water.

The day before I saw my radiation doctor and he did his usual weekly status check-up. I told him my mouth and throat was getting a little worse than the week before. He asked me on a range of 1 – 10 what was my pain level, I told him when I’m medicated about a 3 – 4. As long as I don’t have anything in my mouth or swallow much it doesn’t seem to bother me too much. He looked at my mouth and throat and said, he thought I was being modest in my evaluation of the pain. He told me not to take any more Tylenol than I had been taking and to start taking Percocet if I needed it. If the pain got any worse he could prescribe something stronger. I told him I’d let him know when I was ready for an upgrade. He also prescribed something called Tri-mix (lidocain, Maalox, Benadryl). I’m supposed to swish it around my mouth and gargle with it 20 minutes prior to eating. It coats the mouth/throat and deadens everything.

Back to Thursday morning. Seeing as I couldn’t even swallow water, I decided to try the tri-mix. It did the trick. But it tastes terrible (wild cherry cough syrup flavor – ugh !!!) and it initially burns the tender sore spots in the mouth/throat until the lidocain takes effect. I was able to down a couple sinus Tylenol and headed back to bed. I was due at my radiation treatment at 9:00am, so I decided to let the medication take effect and just go straight to the appointment instead of going into work for 2 hours. I got out of bed at 6:45 and went through my usual daily routine. I felt about 90% better, but was glad I decided to stay in bed rather then going to work.

The treatment went well and I visited with the nurses, they said my blood pressure was a bit high on Wednesday and wanted to check me a couple of days in a row. It was a bit high, but not in the “we need to do something about it range.” They also gave me some more moisturizer. They gave me the standard version, a super version and a super duper version. The super version is the standard version with lard added. Ok, maybe not lard, but whatever they added it’s thick and greasier then the standard version. My jaw and chin now need the super version. The super duper version has lidocain in it for when my skin gets very tender. (oh boy) Standing buck-ass naked in front of the mirror (yea, a sight I’m not even proud of) it looks like I’ve got a farmer sun tan. My face and neck are red and somewhat tanned down. The rest is lily pale white, except for my face, I almost look British.

Let’s talk food. (a little lemon on that paper cut?) I made some soup this week. I figured I’d puree it figuring that would make it easier to swallow. It worked, trouble is I have no idea what it tasted like. Terry said it was good. I guess she wasn’t lying because she didn’t spit it out and actually had a second helping. It’s to the point where I can’t eat anything lumpy at all. Some slimy vegetables go down ok, but they have to be cooked down pretty well. Anything that has to be chewed is out. You have no idea how depressing meal time has become. There is a section in our Sunday paper called “Taste,” it’s all about food, nutrition, recipes, and restaurants in the local area. I’ve started cutting out articles about restaurants I want to visit when this is all over. I’m afraid how thick that stack of articles will be by the time I get around to start visiting them.

I went to the gym twice this week (Monday and Thursday). Tuesdays are out due to the double treatment that day and it seems I’ve always got something else to do on Wednesday. By Friday I’m so happy the week is over and I’m getting a 2 day break I fart it off and just don’t go. I do feel it helps. I do feel a little tired some days, but I don’t feel weak. I don’t do a heavy weight training workout, just something I call a maintenance workout and I spend 45 minutes doing some sort of aerobics. It keeps my energy level up and connected to the old routine. I’ve lost about 15 lbs since December, that’s 15 lbs I can afford to lose. From here on out I need to watch my calorie intake and keep it up so I don’t loose much more.

I had intentions of staying in bed late Saturday morning, but my throat finally got to the point where I just couldn’t stay there without some medication. The pain wasn’t as bad as Thursday, but I knew the routine and hit the tri-mix before anything else. By the time I was medicated I was wide awake and it didn’t make sense to go back to bed, so I gathered up the Friday and Saturday morning papers and a cup of luke-warm coffee and veg’d at the kitchen table for a few hours. While I’ve cut down to about 3 – 4 cups of coffee a day, I’m surprised I can still drink it. I can actually somewhat taste it and the warm liquid sooths the throat somewhat, it also seems to cut the thick saliva to some extent. I mean a guy can only take so much, no sensation of taste, no chewing a thick juicy steak, no beer !!!!! At least I still have coffee. You know of course next week I’ll tell you it probably makes me throw up.

Sunday pretty much sucked (must have been that daylight savings time thingy). I got up around 7:00am tried to rinse out my mouth and throat and take some medication. I managed that, made a pot of coffee and went back to bed. Back up around 9:00am, made another attempt at rinsing out my mouth and settled in with the Sunday paper. Terry made me a bowl of malt-o-meal and I managed to get that down along with ½ cup of coffee. I finally got cleaned up and poured a pint of water into my PEG, I can’t drink more than a couple of sips of water at a time now, so I’m going to have to rely on the PEG for my mass hydration intake.

We visited a nursery this afternoon, the temperature has reached the low 80’s this week so all the flowers, grass, vegetables and whatever are ready to be planted (and then wiped out in a late spring freeze). By the time we got home I was beat. I managed some lunch and then slunk off for a 2hr nap. Terry planted flowers.

With 3 weeks of treatments left and 3 – 4 weeks of residual treatment effects after that, I can’t imagine what I’m going to have to deal with. I’m thinking the feeding tube was a good idea. I used it Friday to put in about a liter of water, I wasn’t able to drink as vigorously as I’ve been able to over the last few weeks. It’s important I keep hydrated and if that’s the only way, I have no problem using it.

I’m taking it a day at a time now making a decision on when my last work day will be. I’m talking as little as possible; I spend a lot of time caring to my mouth and throat. I can’t see subjecting my co-workers to my gargling and spitting, I’d spend more time in the men’s room than at my desk. So I’m thinking sometime this week I will pack it in and give up the day job. I can bring my work laptop home and keep in contact with it, maybe get a little work done. The idea of sitting around the house just doesn’t sit well with me. Sure, I’ve got the daily medical appointments to take care of, but that’s only a few hours a day. I guess it’s time to refocus from work to healing. It won’t be easy.

Ok, enough wimpering for one week. I’m not sure what new woes I’ll have for you next week, maybe the frogs will make an appearance.