Things are going well.

I’ve got a new pack of doctors; all my original doctors have moved on to new military assignments or left the military.  I’ve visited with all of them within the last month and have received encouragement that things are going well and we have started moving my scheduled appointments to longer intervals between appointments.  I got a CT scan on 7 September and then talked via phone to my pulmonary doctor on 20 September (I’ve been traveling a lot and didn’t have time to schedule an office visit).  She informed me that the spot on my lung has shrunk in size and that she is not worried about it.  We will however continue monitoring it with CT scans on a 6 – 12 month basis for 2 years.

It’s been 2 ½ years since my final treatments and except for some lingering dry mouth, diminished ability to taste some things, I can’t complain too much.  I’ve been a lot luckier than others.  I’ve gained back 30 of the 40 pounds I lost and try and keep up a regular exercise schedule.  But there isn’t a day that goes by that I’m not reminded of what I went through and that I must be vigilant and pay attention to my body.  I have a great team of doctors watching over me.  I’ve gotten the best treatment from the military health care system, it’s truly been worth the 25 years I spent in the Air Force.

Y'all take care,
Miller, out

Have things been going too well?

March - April 2012  (this is a long post and covers a period of almost 4 weeks)


I went in for a follow-up appointment in early March 2012, Dr. Brennan was very happy with my current state of health and said we can probably start moving my follow-up appointments farther apart. He did a physical exam of my neck and scoped my throat and said everything looks very good. We talked about the fact that I was now 2 years out from my last treatment and that I’m getting through the point where recurrence happens, but seeing as things are looking good I probably don’t have to worry too much any more. We decided to do a PET/CT scan and then to follow it up with another in a year. So in the future I would be getting scans in my anniversary month. I said that even though I had gotten a scan back in August (just 7 months ago), I was ok with getting another one if he thought it was a good idea. So he scheduled me for the scan and we agreed to meet again in 3 months.

I got the PET/CT scan on 15 March and the following day went off to Germany for a meeting. It had been 6 months since I had seen some of the meeting attendees and many of them asked about my health and how I was feeling. I told them about my last meeting with Dr. Brennan and how he was very happy with my progress and that we were moving my scheduled appointments out to a longer period between visits.

When I returned from my trip the following Saturday, Terry informed me that Dr. Brennan had called and informed us that during the PET/CT scan they had found a hot spot on my left lung. Bam!! Punch to the solar plexus. He left a message that he had put in a consultation with the pulmonary clinic and that I should be hearing from them in a few days. The report also mentioned I should maybe get a liver scan. On Monday I stopped at Wilford Hall Medical Center and got a copy of my PET/CT scan report so we could go over it and try and decipher what was reported. Not much luck there, just as in the past, it’s all medical speak and we spend more time Googling medical terms to figure out what is being reported than actually reading the report. It’s very frustrating and we of course spend some time on the internet searching for info on lung cancer and spots on the lung, what it could mean and what all the options are. It’s hard not to think the worst, but we are optimistic it’s just going to be a false positive finding.

On Tuesday I called Dr. Brennan’s office to schedule a follow-up appointment to discuss my possible liver scan and get a 16 Apr appointment. The pulmonary clinic called and offered me an appointment for the 10th of April. I was scheduled to travel to Europe for 3 weeks starting on the 9th and asked if they had anything in early May. Terry was standing there listening to this exchange and was getting hot about me not taking the first available appointment. In the background she was saying, “No, you take that first appointment, you don’t need to be traveling, it’s not that important.” I accepted the early May appointment and proceeded to go to the gym for a workout.

I knew Terry was pissed, and I also knew I had probably made a mistake not taking the earliest appointment. It was silly to think I had to go to meetings when I could be having a recurrence of cancer. During my workout I decided I’d call and change to the earlier appointment first thing the next morning.

3 Apr 12

Terry and I went in to see Dr. Matthews at the Pulmonary Clinic at Wilford Hall Medical Center on Lackland Air Force Base. Dr. Matthews pulled up the PET/CT scan and showed us the spot on my upper left lung. The scan report said the spot was 9x8x8 mm. That’s pretty small, but it showed up real bright on the computer screen. He said it could be and infection, or just a jumble of veins, or it could be cancer, there is no way to tell from the scan. Prior to the actual PET/CT scan they inject a radio active isotope called Fluorodeoxyglucose (18F) or FDG about 90 minutes before the scan. The FDG is known to be taken up by cancer cells, which then makes them very noticeable during the scan. Knowing that, I wasn’t too receptive to the diagnosis that the spot being an infection or anything else. He recommended that a biopsy be performed to make sure. We agreed and he put in the consultation to Interventional Radiology (IR). Two days later I received a call from IR and we setup an appointment for the next Tuesday.

10 Apr 12

Tuesday afternoon I met with Dr. Goie and we again went over my PET/CT scan. He also recommended that we get a biopsy of the spot. We went out to talk to his scheduler and they offered up 20 April, I asked if I could fly 2 days after the procedure knowing that there was a good chance that during the biopsy they might collapse my lung. They recommended that I not fly that soon after the procedure. So, we looked at the next available date and it looked like it was going to be early May. The scheduler decided to talk to the doctor about my possibly flying 2 days after a procedure. Dr. Goie came into the room and recommended I not fly, so I said I would cancel my trip and opt for the procedure on the 20th. The doctor thought about it for a minute and then said he could admit me to the hospital and then they could do the procedure when ever he wanted. I said that was ok with me, the sooner the better. They checked his schedule again and decided to admit me to the hospital the following morning.

11 Apr 12

Interesting 2 days. Due to the lack of available appointments the Doctor opt'd to admit me to the hospital, but that didn't work out too well. I showed up at my appointed time (Wednesday, 10:00am) was admitted and set-up comfortably in a room to myself. The doctor came in and talked with us for a short period and said I should be called at approx. 1:00pm. About 1:00pm he came back and informed us it'll be a while yet, maybe around 2:00pm. About 3:00pm they came and got me. I hung out in the prep area about another hour and then was finally wheeled in and placed on the table of a CT scanner. They hooked me up to an EKG, and the port in my chest so they could administer drugs and a sedative. I was put on my right side, strapped in and the doctor came in and tried to find the lesion using Ultrasound. He could not find it, and said they will use the CT scan to find it, and then try using the ultrasound again.

At that point everyone left the room and I took a nap. Sometime later everyone came back in and I was informed they were giving up for the day. One of the primary technicians was unavailable (CT or Pathology not sure which), so they couldn't perform the procedure. So, I was told I'd have to spend the night and have the procedure on Thursday morning. I was sent back to the staging area to wait, because I had been sedated. After about 45 minutes the doctor came back in and said I was being given a 12 hour pass, so I could go home for the night. Back to the ward, changed clothes and was walking out when the primary ward nurse stopped us and said they couldn't give me a pass. Big conference takes place with the ward nurse, his lackies and the doctor. Next thing I knew I was being discharged from the hospital and told to come back at 7:30am on Thursday morning and we'd try it again. Meanwhile my stomach was rumbling because I hadn't eaten in 24 hours.

Fast forward to Thursday morning 12 Apr 12.

We arrived on time and I was taken back to the prep area and went through all the paperwork and preparation one more time. Everyone was in a cheery mood and things seemed to be going like clockwork. Approx 8:30 I was once again wheeled into the procedure room (not an operating room), placed on the CT scanner table, hooked up appropriately to everything, given some happy juice and slid into the CT scanner where I immediately fell into la la land. Next thing I know, I'm in the recovery room being questioned by the nurse and Terry. They got satisfactory answers and I dosed off for about an hour more. Doctor came in and said they got some good samples and they should have the pathology results Monday or Tuesday. I did suffer a partial lung collapse (3% or so) they kept me around for observation and took a chest x-ray. They finally decided I was recovered enough to go home. Doc said I should go home plop myself on the couch, put my feet up, turn on the TV and drink a couple of beers, Mrs. Miller protested. I told her it was doctor's orders, but she over ruled again. So, I spent the afternoon dozing off and on, on the couch.

I've got a small puncture wound on my left side under my arm pit and it kinda feels like I've been punched in the same location. Other than that, I'm good to go. Just waiting for the results.

18 Apr 12      Good news.

It was a very long weekend and it wasn’t made any better when I went for my appointment with Dr. Brennan. My pathology report wasn’t back yet, so we pretty much just discussed the PET/CT scan results and the recommendation for a liver scan. Dr. Brennan seemed very confident that the biopsy would be negative, but it was prudent to have done the biopsy. He did his usual exam and decided he needed to see me again in 6 – 8 weeks. A shorter period between our usual appointments.

Yesterday I spoke with Dr Goei, who performed the biopsy, my pathology report has finally come in and it reported negative for cancer. However it did say, “orgainizing pneumonia with focal poorly-formed granuloma.” What the heck does that mean? From what the doctor tells me, and what I could find on the internet it means, the body is encapsulating something (bacteria, fungus, infection, inhaled foreign matter, etc.) causing inflammation and creating the granuloma (nodule, spot, etc). What are they going to do about it? For now, wait. Today I talked to Dr. Matthews from the pulmonary clinic and he pretty much told me the same thing as Dr. Goei (they were both working from the same pathology report). They both recommend that we wait 3 months and then do another CT scan, if it shows enlargement or anything else; Goei will do another biopsy to ensure there is no change. There is a possibility it will spontaneously go away.

So everyone is cautiously optimistic this isn’t anything to get too worked up about. It should be monitored, and if anything changes then appropriate action will be taken. What that action is, they’re not saying. Doctors, they’re always so vague. I guess that’s why they call it practicing medicine.

Life seemed to be back to normal, doctors seemed happy with my progress, follow-up appointments were being scheduled farther apart, and then bam! Reality slaps me up side the head. I guess this is the way it’s going to be from now on, periods of normality and periods of anxiety and frustration. I spent a lot of time thinking about if it was cancer again, what the outcome would be. I can’t be radiated again, more chemo? If it’s a different type of cancer would the treatment be harder than the first time. Will it keep coming back until it beats me?

There was no doubt in my mind that I would standup and fight it with all I had one more time. I’m not ready as Dylan Thomas said, to “go gentle into that good night.” But for the moment, I’ve dodged the bullet. I know I must not let my guard down. I’ve must pay less attention to the small stuff and pay more attention to Terry, my family, my friends, the important things in life.

So that was my last four weeks. Not the best of times, but a wake up call. A reminder I must be vigilant and work at being a bit healthier. It’s been a while since my last update. Things were going good and it didn’t seem like there was anything that needed reporting. I’ll try and not wait as long between reports and hopefully, they’ll all be good reports in the future.

Time for an update

Well I’m on the road again sitting in Frankfurt airport, Germany, waiting for a flight so I figured this would be a good time to provide an update.  I know it’s been awhile, but I guess that’s good news.


I recently had a Positron emission tomography (PET) scan done and I’ve seen all of my doctors within the last few weeks.  The PET scan came back negative for cancer, so I’m good to go there.  It’s been 18 months since my last treatment and I’ve now had 2 negative PET scans.  My new Ear, Nose & Throat (ENT) doctor is happy with my status, but still requires a visit every 3 months.  My Chemo and Radiology doctors are happy to see me at 6 month intervals now.


One down side, I had blood drawn to check my cholesterol level and my thyroid hormone level is low, so I’ve been put on thyroid medication.  I go back for a blood test in a few weeks to see if the medication is set at the right level.  I had no symptoms tipping the doctors off that the hormone level was low, and I’ve been on the medication for 2 weeks and haven’t seen a change in anything.  Probable cause is the radiation treatment, it’s known to damage the thyroid and cause low hormone levels.


My weight is up a bit, I’m now at 168.  That’s a 26 lb gain since my low of about a year ago.  I don’t necessarily mind the weight gain, I just wish it was more muscle mass than fat. I need to spend more time in the gym and less time at the table.  A year ago I could eat anything I wanted and not worry about it, now I need to watch the high calorie stuff. 


Physically, other than the weight gain, not much has changed.  I’m sleeping better and not waking up too often for a drink of water.  I still suffer from dry mouth and have to carry a bottle of water around with me.  I still have junk in my throat when I wake up, but once I’ve eaten breakfast it seems to clear it away for the most part.  I can taste pretty much everything, but that doesn’t mean it all tastes right.  I still have a hard time eating most meat, it’s too dry.  Meat is also fairly tasteless, so the idea of enjoying a good steak is out of the question.  Almost anything with a sauce is enjoyable and the flavor seems to last longer than something dry.  I haven’t given up eating anything in particular or changed what I cook at home.


I’m looking forward to fall; we’ve had a record number of 100+ degree days so far this summer in San Antonio.


That's it for now, I'll check in again in a bit, hopefully with even better news.  Until then, y'all take care.


Cheers,
Miller, out

Spring has sprung.

Sorry it’s been so long since my last update. I’m back to a full work load and pretty much back to a normal schedule – busy. Where I would normally write these updates on Sunday afternoons, I’m now back to doing those weekend catch-up jobs in-between business trips. The up side is I’m doing better, so cancer is in the back of my mind and not taking up anywhere near the time it did only a few months ago.

I write this from the airport in Madrid, Spain. I just finished up a week in Estroil, Portugal, this is my 3rd trip to Europe so far this year – I’m going to apply for EU membership.

I’ve seen all three doctors within the last 3 weeks and I’m told I’m doing very well. Still have some issues with my throat and dry mouth, but I’ve seen some improvement. I can taste most things now and the ability to taste seems to last longer before going a bit muted. Salivary glands are still not up to par, and I still need to have water available 24 hours a day. I only wake up once or twice a night for a drink of water. I’ve gained back a total of 20 pounds and I’m happy with that weight. More time in the gym will keep it off my waist.

Two of my doctors will be leaving San Antonio in the next couple of months, so we said good bye. I thanked them profusely and they said I was one of their good patients. I guess that’s a little dubious, I managed to come out on this side cancer free, not all their patients are as lucky. My third doctor has moved to another military hospital here in San Antonio, so I still see him. My appointments are now at 3 month intervals vice 1 month. It shouldn’t be too long before I move to 6 month intervals.

Thanks for checking in on me, I wish you all well.

Take care,
Miller, out

Happy New Year! – Good riddens 2010 !!!!

Ok, I’m glad to see 2010 behind me. I guess I could rail on about how bad it was, but that would be a waste of time, instead I’ll say I learned a lot about life and how important it is to pay attention to your family and friends. I tend not to do that and it’s a serious fault. I’m going to try and do better in the future.

This time last year I was in the middle of the gut wrenching dilemma of deciding on what treatment to choose to treat my cancer. It was a terrible time and Terry and I were trying to make decisions based on very poor information and no one to guide us through the process but my doctors. The three of them each had their own opinions and needless to say they focused on their own specialties. I guess that’s to be understood, but we could have used a good arbitrator. In the end I guess we made the right decision, I’m cancer free.

I’ve seen all three of my doctors over the last month and they are happy as usual with my progress. I still have issues with my throat and mouth, but they are improving slowly. My taste buds seem to be healing and I can taste more for longer periods of time. I don’t need as much water to get through the day (and night). I’ve been told that I won’t need to come in and see the doctors as often, we’ll be going to a 3 month check-up schedule over the next 12 months.

We went to Green Bay over the holidays, I got to attend the Packer / New York Giants football game (it was cold , but we won !!) My brother offered up one of his tickets, I don’t know why his wife Katey didn’t want to go to the game. It was a good reminder why I live in Texas. We had a couple of feet of snow on the ground and I’m not sure it got above 30 degrees while we were there. We had a white Christmas and got to spend some time with our friends and family and that was very special.

I’m writing this in a hotel in California. I’m on the first week of a 4 week travel session, so I guess I’m back in the swing of things. I spend a couple of days at home this coming weekend, but then it’s off across the pond to my other home Europe for two weeks. Then a stop off at home to do some laundry then a few days in Maryland, then back to Texas for a couple of weeks, before it’s time to head to Paris. What a life. What time zone am I in?

Miller, out

On the road again . . .

Well it’s been almost 3 months since my last update and I must say I’m feeling pretty good. I still have some issues with my throat, mainly when I get up in the morning, but it’s getting slowly a bit better.


I hit the road in late September and spent 4 out of 6 weeks in Europe, a week in Norway, a week in the UK and a week in Germany, a week back home in Texas and then a week in Belgium. It was great to meet up with my European working buddies and get to thank them for all of their support while I was going through my treatments. We celebrated with a few pints of Guinness.

The first 3 week stretch was a bit tiring towards the end, but I think I would have been tired whether I was recovering from my illness or just because of the hours I was putting in. I did a lot of traveling those weeks and maybe partied a bit harder than I should have.

Terry met me in Germany and while I attended meetings all day she toured around Bavaria. We did get to spend some time together the first couple of days and she enjoyed some kick-back time as well.

My lower throat still seems to have a film of sticky yucky slime that I can’t seem to clear out. Once I eat something for breakfast that seems to clear the majority of it out for most of the day. My salivary glands seem to be coming back a bit, I don’t have to drink as much water during the day to keep my mouth and throat lubricated. I also don’t need near as much water at meal time. Some foods are just naturally dry and I drink more then, sometimes I can get most of the way through a meal without having to drink anything. I’m almost sleeping through the night now. I only get up a couple of times to take a drink. I’ve cut down on my water intake, so the trips to the toilet are more infrequent as well. (I guess that may be bordering on a bit too much information)

My appetite has improved greatly; I’ve gained back 14 pounds. I’ve noticed it’s not all muscle. I need to cut back on the snack food I could eat with impunity 3 months ago; it’s beginning to accumulate around the waistline again. My ability to taste has improved a bit. I can usually taste most things to a certain extent for 4 – 5 mouthfuls, and then everything turns bland again. I can taste some bold flavored things a bit longer. I still have to watch the spicy foods; they’re still too hot for me. Although the last couple of times we went to the TexMex restaurants here in town I’ve tried the salsa and chips and have been able to tolerate a few bites. I’ve started adding a few drops of Frank’s Hot Sauce to my lunch at work to start acclimating myself to spicy foods. It’s going to be a slow process, but I think I’ll eventually get back to where I’ll enjoy eating again.

I met with Dr. Eller and Dr. Richard a few weeks back and they were happy with my progress. Not much more to be said about that, they were both regular check-ups and neither advised me to change anything. I’ll still be seeing them every few months for awhile.

I ended up having some interesting conversations with many of my Euro-friends. Most were amazed that I didn’t look much worse then I did. While I was 30 pounds lighter, I really hadn’t changed much. I didn’t look sick the last time they saw me, and I didn’t look liked I’d been ill recently. I didn’t seem any different from the last time they saw me. After running through the usual medical stories a few of the conversations got around to how I was really doing and some of the mental aspects of the illness and recovery. How it had changed my life, what I was doing differently. It got a little deep at times and I probably blathered on longer then they were really interested in listening.

We celebrated Thanksgiving at our friends Steve and Dagi’s house; it’s grown into a tradition. I don’t remember the last time I cooked for Thanksgiving. We did something a bit different this year after Steve said grace we all volunteered what we were thankful for. It was probably a little different then the usual thanks stated in homes around the country. We had two cancer survivors and a number of care givers present, it was a bit emotional. It gave me a chance to thank everyone for their support over the last 11 months; I couldn’t have gotten through it without them. Especially Terry, she’s put up with so much this year, but never faltered or complained, she was always there when I needed her.

So that’s the latest. I’m pretty much back into my old routine, life is good.

Y’all take care, back at ya soon.

Miller, out

I’m Cancer Free

Well I finally got a hold of Dr. Strickland today. After not hearing anything for a week I decided to hunt her down and ask what the results of the test were. I had lost the phone number for the endocrinology clinic so I had to call the nurses hot line to get some information. I finally got through and the Airman that answered the phone asked what I wanted and I told her I had gotten an FNA done a week ago and I wanted to know the results, could I talk to Dr. Strickland? She took some information and then told me she would submit a consult and someone would get back to me within 72 hours. I said, “That’s nice” and hung up.

A couple of hours later Dr. Strickland called and said she was going to call me today. (yea, right!) She told me the results were back and they looked good. The nodule was benign (that’s good). Which is what I said. She agreed and read from the report,

Final Diagnosis:

Thyroid nodule, left, fine needle aspiration:  Benign.
Reactive Hurthle and follicular cells present in a background of colloid and macrophanges, consistent with hyperplasitc nodule with a cystic component.

That’s pathologist talk for – it’s ok.

So I stopped at the hospital on the way home and got a copy of the report to see if there was anything we could glean from it.

When I got home Terry was already there and she said let’s celebrate, ok, I said and we proceeded to open a bottle of Champaign and had a toast. We went out for dinner, even though I wouldn’t be able to taste much, it just seemed like the right thing to do.

So now what? Well, I continue seeing my doctors and following their directions. I continue healing, which may take some time. And we wait. If I make it 3 years without a recurrence that’s good, if I make it 5 years without a recurrence that’s great and I’m considered cured. I imagine there will always be some doubt and anything will set me on edge for quite some time. But hopefully that will pass with time.

I’m different now, I’m a survivor, and I will never be the same person I was before, mentally or physically. I will live differently (hopefully for the better) and I’ll have a different outlook on life. I want to put more emphasis on living not just doing. Quality is more important than quantity. I’m not going to start a bucket list of things I want to do before my time runs out. (I never really had the urge to jump out of a perfectly good airplane) My priorities have changed, the job isn’t as important as it once was. I’ll still give it 100%, but I’ll make time for others things as well. Terry took very good care of me and I want to return that favor, it’ll probably take a life time (and will probably involve some diamonds).

I’ll continue this blog for as long as people are interested. I’ve got a lot of healing yet to do, so there will be a lot of updates. Maybe I’ll consolidate the blogs, flush it out some, add more detail and turn it into something a little more readable.

I’d also like to find a way to give something back to all those who took care of me and for those that will need care in the future. I’ll be thinking about it. If you have any ideas I’d like to hear them.

Ok, this hasn’t been my longest update, but I think it’s one of the best. It’s been a very long nine months and this chapter isn’t over yet, but I think the worst is behind me. The future looks good.

Y’all take care.
Cheers,
Miller, out

What a pain in the neck!

Sorry I’ve been inconsistent with my blog postings, I’ve been waiting to meet with my doctors and receive the pathology reports on the tests that have been run lately. And then the blog editor went on the blink and it took a while to figure that out. Hopefully this gets us back in the swing of things.

I saw Dr. Akins (radiation oncologist) last Friday (27 Aug) and he was very pleased with my progress. He hadn’t seen me since April and I was in pretty bad shape back then. He has moved hospitals, he was at Wilford Hall Medical Center and now he is at Brooks Army Medical Center (BAMC) where I got the PET scan done. He also became the proud father of a new baby boy. I think we spent more time talking about the baby then we did about my case. We discussed my PET scan and he was very optimistic that the thyroid nodule will turn out to be nothing to worry about, but agreed it was a good idea to have it checked out. I gave him a run down of my current condition and he said I was pretty much on schedule with my recovery, but as usual was noncommittal on just how long some of the effects will last and when I’ll get back to real normal. He did a physical examination and said the tongue in the location of the tumor was healing very well and he said it felt good to him. He said because I’m seeing 3 doctors, he didn’t feel it was necessary to see everyone the same month, so I didn’t have to come back to see him until early December. That gave me an indication that my recovery was going well.

On 30 Aug I saw the speech therapist and she was also impressed with my progress. My visit to see her doesn’t actually have anything to do with speech therapy, she’s just interested in my ability to swallow, move my tongue and open my mouth. We ran through the regimen of exercises she gave me to see how I was doing and was satisfied enough to where I don’t have to schedule any more follow-up visits with her unless I feel it’s necessary. I was happy about that, the less time I spend at medical appointments the better.

That brings me to my appointment with endocrinology on 31 Aug. I wouldn’t say it was the high light of my day, but it was interesting. If you visited any of the links from my last blog post you might understand the reservations I had about the appointment. I wasn’t looking forward to the possible Fine Needle Aspiration (FNA). I got to the appointment a bit early. I wasn’t sure exactly where the endocrinology clinic was in the hospital, so I figured I’d get there early and get good directions. As it turns out the clinic is about 50 feet inside the main entrance of the hospital. Great, I was way early and would have a chance to read the July 2005 edition of Popular Mechanics.

Lucky me, I only had to wait about 5 minutes before Dr. Strickland came out and got me.

It was a bit before the appointed time, but she seemed eager to get started. We went back to her office and she went through my medical history and asked if there was any history of thyroid issues in my family, was I a smoker, I’m I a heavy drinker (define heavy drinker?), do I wake up with night sweats, do I get cold/hot easily, blah, blah, blah . . .

Then she asked if I knew what a Fine Needle Aspiration procedure was. I told her I’d done a little research and that yes I thought I was pretty familiar with the procedure. I wasn’t looking forward to it, but I knew what was going to happen. She then went into all the gory details. If I agreed to the procedure, she would be inserting a 25 gauge needle attached to a suction device 4 times into the nodule and recover some cells for examination. She said it won’t hurt much, a 25 gauge needle is smaller then the needles they use to take blood with. And by the way there won’t be any medication to deaden the pain. They figure that sticking you with a needle to inject pain killer is only making matters worse. By the time they stick you a couple of times to administer the pain killer they can be done with the procedure. She seemed pretty caviler with this minor pain that I’d be subject to. I told her I had a pretty high pain threshold and that I was getting used to being stuck with needles over the last 8 months. She then asked me if I agreed to the procedure, I said yes, and off we went to the “procedure room.”

We went into a room with a chair, an examination table, an ultra-sound machine and a desk. She told me to get up on the table and wait. She returned with a piece of paper that turned out to be the consent form for the procedure. It was the last Xerox copy of a very poor original, neither one of us could read. She went on to explain what was printed in the blocks of unintelligible faded out print. I told her I believed her and signed the form. She probably could have then removed one of my kidneys and sold it on the black market and I wouldn’t have had any legal recourse (and one less kidney).

I was then told to lay back and she put a rolled up towel under my back, between my shoulder blades. I was told this wasn’t to make me comfortable, but to put my neck in a better position to do the procedure. She was right, it wasn’t comfortable, but from what I was about to experience it was a minor discomfort. I didn’t even have to take my shirt off; they just positioned a towel to keep the ultra-sound goop from getting on my shirt.

It was time! Dr. Strickland then squirted some goop on my neck and began to spread it around with the ultra-sound wand. She located my thyroid and the nodule. She pointed out a black spot on a black and white screen and I made agreeing sounds like I could actually see what she was talking about. She then said she was going to start the procedure and that I was going to feel a slight prick, and oh by the way don’t swallow during the procedure. That fine little needle felt like a dull carpenter’s nail going into my neck. She stuck it in and then wiggled it around a bit to get a good sampling of nodule cells, she then said, “suction on” and her little helper replied, “suction on” a bit more wiggling then, “suction off”, “suction off” the helper replied and she pulled the needle out. She then turned her back to me and somehow got the collected cells onto a specimen slide for the pathologist. She asked how I was doing, and I said fine (grimace, grimace). She said, “good, only 3 more to go.” She then proceeded to run through the procedure 3 more times. All in all, it only took about 5 minutes and after the first 3 needle sticks, it wasn’t too bad.

Once it was over they had me sit up and wait a few minutes to settle down. We made some small talk and I asked her when the results would be back, she said about a week at the most. She asked if she could call me with the results and I gave her my phone numbers. She asked how I felt and I said, “like a pin cushion.” She said I was released and could go back to work. I did.

So now we wait. I can only be optimistic about the results; it doesn’t do any good to worry about it. I’ve been through enough crap the last 8 months and I’m feeling pretty good physically. Most people on the street wouldn’t even know I’ve been sick by looking at me. If it turns out the nodule is cancer I’m ready to start the good fight all over again. I just hope for Terry’s sake it’s benign, she’s gone through enough so far this year. She could use some good news for a change.

So keep your eye on your email, I’ll report the results as soon as I get them. My guess is we’ll be celebrating.

Cheers,
Miller, out

Cautious Optimism

I've been trying to post this for over a week and finally got the editor to work.  Sorry for the delay.

I was hoping that this report would be where I tell you that I’ve been given a clean bill of health and that things were going to be great from here on out. Not so much.


I went to Brooks Army Medical Center (BAMC) on 12 Aug for my PET scan. I got there approximately 6:45 am I haven’t been there before and wasn’t familiar with the parking or layout of the hospital, so I wanted to be early. I drove through the security checkpoint and could see the hospital off to the right and some parking off to my immediate left. I took a left turn and parked in a dirt parking area. The whole area is a construction zone, BAMC is a new facility, moved from a previous location on Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio, TX. I mistakenly parked in a lot reserved for the members of the construction team. It just made for a longer walk to the hospital but I didn’t mind the walk.

A little after 7:00 am I decided to go into the hospital and find the nuclear medicine clinic. I had a good idea where it was. I had been told to go in the main entrance, turn right and follow the signs for nuclear medicine. Should be easy, right? For a change it was. I found it easily. I checked in and was given a couple of forms to fill out and bring back to the reception desk, the usual pre-treatment questionnaire, medical history stuff. I skipped all the questions concerning pregnancy.

After a short wait a young airman (or maybe airperson – it was a female Air Force Technical Sergeant) came and got me and brought me back to a room to be prept’d for the procedure. She needed to test my blood sugar level and set up an intravenous injection port. She couldn’t use the port in my upper chest; only nurses specially trained could use that location. There are certain precautions they have to abide by to use that port. They have to flush it and use a special attachment. It never looked too complicated to me all of the times it was used in the past, but I guess it’s a union thing. Only certain specially trained individuals can do that procedure. Oh well, it just meant they had to try and find a vein in on of my arms (good luck with that!) She did her best to find a vein, but to no avail and ended up using one on the back of my left hand. She drew some blood, checked my blood sugar level and then left the room to get the radioactive isotope they were going to inject into me. She came back with a metal tube set up to contain the radioactivity so no one is exposed to a dose of radiation. Pretty neat little device. It held a normal syringe sized dose of Fluorodeoxyglucose (18F). FDG, is a radiopharmaceutical used in the medical imaging modality positron emission tomography (PET) scan. I was told that I would be injected and then have to wait 90 minutes before they could perform the PET scan. They actually do a PET scan and a Computed Tomography (CT) scan and then combine the results. It takes 90 minutes for FDG to circulate through the body and start to congregate in places that take up a lot of sugar, like cancer cells.

I was led off to a side waiting room to wait the 90 minutes. They provided a couple of nice recliner chairs much like the ones in the chemo clinic, a TV and a 6 month old copy of the San Antonio Express News newspaper. I brought a book.

About 75 minutes later the Tech Sergeant came in and told me they were just about ready for me and that I should take a drink if I needed one and then empty my bladder. She’d be back to get me in a few minutes. I followed orders, took a drink and had a satisfying pee. Not long after that, she came and got me.

Once in the PET scan room I was met by a male technician and he told me to empty my pockets of anything metal and lay down on the table attached to the PET scan machine. Once I laid down I was told to drop my pants to just past my knees ( so my belt and metal button on my pants wouldn’t show up on the scan). I was maneuvered through the machine so they could hook up the intravenous connection to the other (CT scan) contrast isotope (iodine) they were going to inject me with. My head was strapped down so I couldn’t move it and away we went.

They did the CT scan first. They injected the iodine, which causes a warm flush feeling in a couple of places in your body and then proceeded to run the scan. The CT scan only took 10 minutes or so and then we did the PET scan. That took about 20 minutes. Then I was dismissed and I went back to work.

Once back at work I called both Dr. Eller and Dr. Richard and left messages that I had gotten the PET scan done. I don’t have a direct line to either doctor, no one gets that, so I either have to leave a message or talk to a nurse. It was Friday so I didn’t expect any results until Monday or Tuesday.

Tuesday morning when I got to work I checked my voice mail and found a message from Dr. Eller from late Monday afternoon (after I left work). He said the results were good and he’d talk to me later. I returned his call and of course left a message. I did not get a call back. On Wednesday I stopped after work at Wilford Hall Medical Center and got a copy of my PET scan results. Interesting enough I had a voice message to call Endocrinology to set up an appointment on my home phone. Terry and I looked at each other questioningly. Terry and I spent about an hour on the internet trying to decipher the pathology report. There were lots of medical terms we had to look up to try and make sense of. From what we could tell I was good to go. The primary site of the tumor looked good (no cancer evident), my lymph nodes were good and other than a couple of notes about a inguinal hernia (which I knew about) and a 1.3 cm left renal nodule, meeting CT and PET criteria for lipid-rich adenoma, things looked normal, except for a stable 1.0 cm persistent indeterminate left thyroid nodule nonhypermetabolic (Non-hypermetabolic means that it doesn't show up on the PET scan, doesn't take up radio labeled sugar molecules any more than the background tissue).  The pathologist recommended consideration of an ultrasound guided biopsy if desired. Needless to say that piqued our interest.

Dr. Eller called on Thursday morning and we went over the report line by line. We were both happy with the report concerning my tongue cancer (I’m cancer free). But, the thyroid nodule (what’s the difference between a nodule and a tumor ??) concerned him and he recommended that I get it looked at. I told him the endocrinology clinic had already contacted me and I had an appointment set up for 31 August for an assessment. That assessment could include a Fine Needle Aspiration. That procedure involves a somewhat large syringe with a medium sized needle used to suck up some of the nodule cells that are then tested for cancer. Sounds like fun right?

So here we are again in the dark wondering just what the future holds for me. Dr. Eller told me 6 - 7% of the general population have thyroid nodules and only 6 – 7% of them are positive for cancer. He said the nodule was identified in my original CT scan but it wasn’t taken seriously due to the tumor on my tongue. He also said if it wasn’t for my tongue tumor he wouldn’t be too concerned about the thyroid nodule either, but because of the tongue tumor he wanted it looked at. I guess that makes me feel better, but once cancer has been diagnosed and treated I think all of us cancer survivors are always mindful of a recurrence.

If you check out the above links, I think you’ll be about as informed as I am now. I am cautiously optimistic that nothing is going to come of the thyroid nodule and I’ll be back to recovering from my treatments satisfied I won’t have to worry about cancer in my future. I’m continuing to make progress, it’s still frustratingly slow, but I’m feeling better. I’ve still got issues with my throat, swallowing is still difficult at times, the dry mouth hasn’t improved much and my sense of taste hasn’t improved much either. But I’m getting used to it.

So in a few days or so I should know how things went with the thyroid test and I’ll broadcast that news when I get it.

Y’all take care,
Miller, out

Slow but steady progress

Well once again I’ve left a bit of a while pass between reports, partly because there wasn’t much to report and I guess I was just lazy.

I have made some progress, the tender spots on my tongue have healed considerably and they don’t affect my eating anymore. I still have some issues with my lower throat. At night and first thing in the morning I do have some problems swallowing. It feels like there is goop in my throat and I can’t swallow it or clear it out. It’s better during the day after I’ve eaten something, it seems to clear some of it out.

I saw two of my doctors the past 2 weeks. Dr. Eller, the one who diagnosed my cancer saw me and scoped my throat. He said everything looks good and the primary site of the tumor has healed well. He’s happy with my progress and doesn’t want to see me for another 2 months. He asked if I had any concerns and I told him I was ready for my feeding tube and port to be removed. He said he could take care of my feeding tube but that the port would have to be taken out by the doctors that put it in. By that I assumed he would schedule the feeding tube removal. He then did an examination of my throat, inside and out. He checked out my lymph nodes and said they will probably not come back fully and I’d have to deal with that for the rest of my life. When he was done he asked if there was anything else, so I reminded him about the feeding tube. He told me to open my shirt and lay back on the examination table. I replied, “You’re going to take it out?” He said, Yea it’s easy, no problem. I said, I figured I would have to have it removed and then spend the night in the hospital like I did when they installed it. Checking for leaks. He said, no there won’t be a problem with any leaks. I said, but if you just take it out won’t there be a hole? Won’t you have to stitch it closed? Oh no, he said, it’ll close right up. With that I laid back, he cut the one stitch attached to the tube and to me holding it in place and proceeded to pull the tube out of my stomach. I didn’t feel a thing. Not the stitch being removed, not the tube being pulled out of my stomach, nothing. I just stared at the place where the tube used to be, watching the hole and nothing happened. I expected a steady stream of stomach ooze, but nothing came out at all. He placed a piece of gauze over the hole and put a piece of tape over that and said ok, you can go home now. I said I was back to going to the gym, how long before I can do any strenuous work outs or abdominal work? He said I should wait about a week, that should do it. When I got home after work that day I removed the bandage and there wasn’t anything on it. It hadn’t leaked at all. Now it looks like I’ve got a second belly button about 5 inches above and a little to the right of my normal belly button. I sleep better at night now that I don’t have to worry about it getting caught on something and being ripped out. It was a little annoying hanging out there all the time, but it sure served it’s purpose. I would have been in serious bad shape if I didn’t have it back in the March/April time frame. For sure I would have ended up dehydrated, malnourished and probably in the hospital.

This week I saw Dr. Richard (the chemo doctor). He’s always so amazed that I’m looking pretty good. I guess compared to many of his patients I’m in damn good shape, but he always makes a big deal out of it. He was also happy with my recovery so far and he ordered the whole body Positron Emission Tomography (PET) scan so we could see if there is any cancer left in my body. I asked him if I should be seeing some other type of oncologist, someone that I would see for several years. I reminded him that military doctors get reassigned every 3 – 4 years and I won’t be seeing him for the long haul. (during my 25 years on active duty I never saw the same doctor twice) He said not to worry about that, the kind of cancer I had isn’t the kind that will require constant monitoring for recurrence like some of the other cancers. Mine has a very good survival rate, so I should be happy that they aren’t going to want to monitor me for more than about 3 – 5 years.

Two weeks ago I went in for my annual physical (mainly to check on my cholesterol), I of course didn’t see the same doctor as I say last time. My last physical was about 18 months ago. This doctor was somewhat interested in my cancer and the treatment, but didn’t say much else. I was in and out in about 15 minutes.

So, other than a few issues with my throat that will hopefully clear up in time, I’m doing pretty good. I can eat anything I want, except spicy food. Regular black pepper is hot to me right now. That hasn’t stopped me from eating at our local TexMex restaurants. I just don’t use any hot sauces and I stay away from the dishes I know will be spicy.

On the home front Terry and I traveled to Phoenix, Arizona this last weekend to take care of her mother’s winter home. She owned a nice mobile home in a retirement community for 23 years. We cleaned it up, and packed up what personal affects Terry wanted to take home. The main office that handles renting the mobile home spaces and mobile homes themselves made her a fair offer for her mothers place, but we need some paper work back from the probate lawyer before she can sell anything connected with the estate. It was a very emotional weekend and we were both wrung out by the time we got home. I also have to say it was Africa hot there. It was 110 degrees in the shade.

We rented a car while we were in Phoenix and while I was dropping off some things at the local Goodwill a book case fell on the car. I was in the car getting ready to pull away and a gust of wind blew over the book case and dented the driver side front fender. I spent another hour there filling out paper work, taking pictures. The manager was very helpful, she made a few phone calls and told me not to worry about the damage that they would take care of it. We brought the rental car back early expecting a lot more paper work and hassle, but Enterprise Car Rental was very easy to work with, we made out a report and they sent me on my way. On Tuesday I spoke to the claims department at Goodwill and they took some more information and said the will call me back. Sure enough about 2 hours later I got a call back and they said everything was taken care of. They had talked to Enterprise and Goodwill was going to pay all the damages. I’ve always gotten very good service from Enterprise and I will continue to rent cars from them and recommend them to everyone. Consider yourselves having been recommended.

We have a new Bouvier De Flanders want-to-be foster we are taking care of. He’s about 18 months old and a real keeper. This is a different one then the one we had back in June. He also came from Dallas, TX. He came house trained, he knows a few commands, he doesn’t mind being put in a large dog crate and he gets along with our two dogs. He’s good enough to where we leave him roam the house with our two dogs during the day while we’re at work. That’s pretty rare for one of our fosters. He should be gone soon, a couple of folks are already interested in him.

Ok, I’ve rambled on long enough. Things are good here, I’m progressing well, I’ve been in the gym 4 weeks now and I’m putting on some lean muscle weight.

My PET scan is in early August, I’ll report in when I get the result of that.

Cheers,
Miller, out

Just another week.

Well I hope everyone on this side of the pond is enjoying the 4th of July holiday. For those of you on the other side of the pond y’all just enjoy the World Cup. How many think it will be NLD/GER??

I’m sitting here with a dram of Jameson’s Irish whiskey, because it doesn’t taste bad, my throat seems to tolerate it, it’s a holiday, and damn it, cause I want to! I’m still not drinking beer, but I haven’t tried it either. I guess there is a possibility that the carbonation won’t affect my throat as much now. Red wine still tastes bad and white wine isn’t much better.

Terry bought me a new BBQ grill; actually the Orion Cooker is a new, outdoor convection cooker that uses three cooking processes simultaneously: convection, steam and smoke (if desired). http://orionoutdoors.com/ It’s kind of hard to describe, it’s not really a grill, or a smoker, it’s more of an outdoor convection oven. Anyway, I cooked a 6lb brisket yesterday in 3 hours and it turned out pretty damn good. For those of you BBQ types out there y’all know cooking a brisket is 3 hours and expecting it to be anything like BBQ is a bit much. But I can tell you it turned out smokey and done (actually a bit over done). I’m thinking 2 ½ to 2 ¾ hours would have been just right. I understand ribs really turn out great using this device. (some of you know how I like ribs) The down side of course was I couldn’t really, really taste the brisket. But Terry approved, and also said next time we try ribs. This bad boy is big enough to cook a turkey (in 2 ½ hours).

As I said, I haven’t noticed much improvement this week. My throat hasn’t changed and I’m as dry as ever. My stamina seems to be improving though. I can tell the last 2 weeks in the gym have made an improvement, but I’ve got a long way to go yet.

So that’s it for this week, maybe I’ll turn this blog into a BBQ centric blog; I might have more to write about.

Cheers,
Miller, out

Will this year’s heartache ever end????

US knocked out of the World Cup!! I was hoping the US would give a better showing, but maybe next time. The only conciliation I have is England joins us on the sidelines watching Germany make a run for it. For all my Euro-friends out there, I’ll be half-heartedly cheering on your teams, but I’m not getting up early to watch any of the games.

Nothing really to report. I can’t convey any improvement over last week. I exchanged emails with another Mike Miller this week that had the same cancer as I have 13 years ago and while I expressed my frustration over my slow recovery he said it’s going to be even worse than I expect. He said it took him years before he felt he was back at 100% and that the first couple of years are agonizingly slow. While I’m not happy about it, it beats the alternative. I guess I’ll have to be encouraged by every improvement, no matter how small.

Terry and I went out to dinner Friday night at one of our local fish restaurants, I ordered my usual fried fish and shrimp (small platter Vs my usual large) and as I told her as we got in the car to drive home, “well it filled the hole in my stomach, but it didn’t taste very good.” I could taste the actual fish and the coleslaw, but that great greasy fried flavor eluded me. Same thing happened at Saturday dinner, Terry bought some expensive steaks and I grilled them to perfection (I was told), but it was wasted on me; I couldn’t taste the meat at all. I might as well have been eating cardboard.

We have a new foster rescue in the house. Quincy was found wandering the streets of Dallas, TX. He made his way here to San Antonio through a group of dedicated rescuers. He’s a Bouvier De Flanders want-to-be. He is under weight, scraggly and in serious need of grooming, but he has a great personality and is getting alone with our two beasties famously. I’m sure his stay with us will be short.

So, I’ve managed to stretch this post about nothing into 5 paragraphs, not bad. I hope it wasn’t a waste of your time. I’ll try harder at improving over the next week.

Cheers,
Miller, out

It was a good week, it was a bad week.

Not much to say this week, very little progress. While I don’t seem to have a sore throat, it seems to dry out very quickly and I have to drink a lot to keep it lubed. The two spots on my tongue that made it hard to eat seem to have improved this week, I hope that continues. I ate almost anything I wanted this week and some things I shouldn’t have (dough nuts). I can still only eat so much before my throat gets sore, thus limiting how much I eat. That’s probably a good thing. I do have some issues at night. The lack of working salivary glands makes my mouth and throat dry out quickly and I wake up with my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth and my lips to my teeth. In the lower part of my throat it seems like it’s coated with thick saliva, so when I wake up and take a drink to lubricate everything it still seems like there is stuff still stuck in my lower throat. So, I swallow a lot for 10-15 minutes trying to clear the crap out of my throat. It makes getting back to sleep a bit of a chore. It’s the same when I wake up in the morning, that feeling of gunk in my throat until after I eat something. I guess that clears all the gunk out.

It was a good week for renewing old friendships. I hosted a meeting on Monday and Tuesday through Friday another organization hosted a meeting I attended here in San Antonio. It was an international meeting so I met up with a few folks that I haven’t seem since last year prior to my diagnosis and a few folks here in town that hadn’t gotten the word of my illness. It was encouraging to meet up with them. They got to see how well I’m improving and wished me well. It gave me a lift.

I was brought back to reality when I inquired about another colleague that had been diagnosed with throat cancer about a year prior to me; he unfortunately is doing very poorly and isn’t expected to last much longer. His cancer, a much different cancer than mine, has spread and there isn’t much more the doctors can do for him. I understand he put up a valiant fight and was positive all the way through all of his treatments and surgeries. He was obviously a very strong willed person. It’s amazing what strength people have inside them. I know there were days when I was really beaten down, but I knew in a short time things would get better, so I made it through that day and on to the next. Sam kept finding out things weren’t going well, his cancer had spread and he was going to have to have another treatment, he’d been radiated to the max, so they would have to use more chemo. Everyone knows cancer treatments are hard on a body and when you have to endure more and more different treatments it will just beat you down so the only thing keeping you going is your will. That’s when your metal will show through. I never came anywhere close to that, Sam’s my hero.

But, like Frank Sinatra sang, “that’s life . . . flying high in April, shot down in May.” My week started out great, and then I heard about Sam. Life has a way of slapping you up side the head and injecting reality at the least expected moments. Again I look at the calendar to see what has transpired since January and there are still 6 months left in this year . . . it has got to get better! Don’t read anything into that. I am convinced things will return to normal, and things will get better. A number a years from now 2010 will be a distant memory.

So, here’s to next week. I sense improvement is at hand.

Cheers,
Miller, out

2010 half over, I hope the second half is better than the first

Terry and I returned from Green Bay on 8 June. On 26 May Terry was called back to Green Bay because her mother was back in the hospital with pneumonia symptoms and she wasn’t doing well. Terry and her niece Lissa got on the first plane and arrived around 10:00pm. They spent the night at the hospital monitoring her mother’s condition. On the 28th Lu decided she had had enough and was ready to pass. Arrangements were made for her to go home, but she didn’t make it through the night, she passed quietly on her own terms.

Because Lu had been improving and we weren’t sure how she was going to react to being readmitted to the hospital I didn’t travel to Green Bay on the 26th. I was watching the 4 dogs, our 2 and our niece’s 2. Luckily, when I got the call our good friend Dagi offered to watch the dogs and get me to the airport. So I arrived in Green Bay on the 29th.

It was a loooong holiday weekend and the funeral was scheduled for Tuesday. The funeral was exactly what Lu wanted, limited, respectful and attended by all her friends and family. The rest of the week was taken up with paper work, appointments and inventorying the house. Terry was appointed Lu’s executor and will have to deal with all of that stress and administrivia.

Terry’s niece Lissa and her cousin Karen and her husband Dave were amazing through all of Lu’s illness. They unselfishly spent uncounted hours both at the hospital and nursing home making sure she was comfortable and her needs were being met. The 6 of us made up our close knit support group.

Amazingly, as I passed through the 8th week post radiation, chemotherapy my condition seemed to improve daily. I’m now eating almost everything and my ability to taste is back about 75%. I still have trouble with bread and other dry foods and need a lot of water to get through a meal. It’s still not entirely comfortable to eat, my throat still gets sore about ¾ of the way through the meal and I normally stop eating prior to becoming full. And I still have some issues with my tongue as well, but it won’t be long before I’ll be eating normally. Most of the thick stringy saliva is gone, except first thing in the morning. I sleep a little better, at least in longer stints. I still wake up with a very dry mouth and throat 3 or 4 times a night and have to drink some water.

Obviously, I didn’t make my business trip to the UK. I felt it was better to stay in Green Bay with Terry and help her get through the week. As it is it probably wouldn’t have been a good idea to make the trip anyway. The long travel time probably would have been too much for me. I believe now that in a couple of weeks I’ll be well enough to resume my travel schedule.

On the bright side the FIFA World Cup started and the US managed a draw with the UK. In my mind that was as good as a win. And of course Germany decimated Australia. Sitting at home watching on the big screen with a glass of filtered water was ok, but it brought back memories of many a night at O’Reillly’s in Brussels with my euro-mates swilling Guinness and watching the premier leagues. Maybe later in the year.

The last 6 months have been fraught with stress and frustration; I’m hoping the remaining 6 months will be an improvement.

That’s it for this update; hopefully, I’ll have better news next time.

Miller, out

Where has all the time gone ?

Well it’s been 2 ½ weeks since my last update. Sorry it’s taken so long, but there really hasn’t been anything to report. There has been a negligible improvement in my sore throat, but that’s about it.

I saw my ENT doctor last Wednesday and he said I was doing as well as could be expected. He scoped my throat and said the primary tumor site is healing well and there were no indications of a recurrence. He didn’t have much of an explanation for my continued sore throat and tongue except that it’s hard to actually tell when the radiation treatment actually ends and when the healing process begins and ends. He said I should be feeling better in a couple of weeks, months etc. I told him I was getting frustrated with the slow healing process. He did give me an additional prescription for DEXAMETHASONE, a potent synthetic member of the glucocorticoid class of steroid drugs. It acts as an anti-inflammatory and immunosuppressant. Its potency is about 20-30 times that of the naturally occurring hormone hydrocortisone and 4-5 times of prednisone, it’s normally taken orally and swallowed, but he is only having me gargle with it. It seems to be helping.

I haven’t taken a pain killer in 3 days, but my throat still gets what seem to be tender dry spots during the day. I need a shot of water every 15 – 20 minutes to keep the throat lubed. My tongue is also still tender, but the right side has healed to the point where chewing on that side isn’t too painful. So eating the last couple of days has gotten better. I’m also sleeping better. I’ve graduated to sleeping on my sides again, Yaaaaaa !!!!! I hated sleeping on my back. I only get up 2 – 3 times during the night now. I don’t have to clear my throat as much. I still have nasty thick saliva, but it doesn’t seem to gather in my throat anywhere near as much as it once did. When I wake up in the morning my throat is dry and tender, but 4 – 5 swallows of water seem to sooth things a bit.
We did a bunch of yard work this last weekend. It tired me out and I had to rest often but the activity did me good.

Long weekend coming up (Memorial Day), I wanted to take the RV out to the lake, but Terry thought it would be too much for me. I disagree, but she’ll win out.
I have a business trip scheduled for the 2nd week of June to the United Kingdom, but I’ll make up my mind next week if I’m actually going to attend. I need to be eating better and have little to no pain if I’m going to resume my world travels and I’m just not there yet.

So that’s it, not much change, but some improvement. ENT Doctor wants to see me again in July for a follow-up.

Back at ya a little sooner next time.

Miller, out

Mothers Day

Terry is on her way back to Texas from Green Bay. Her mother was moved to an assisted living facility on Thursday and seems to be settling in ok. She’s not thrilled to be there but understands it’s only a transition until she can take care of herself again. She should only be there 2 weeks. Terry has been amazing in her dedication to her mother and making sure she’s getting the best care. I know it’s been very stressful for her, I hope she can decompress a bit once she’s home.

I got my Percocet prescription renewed and I’ve been taking 2 a day up until Saturday. I didn’t take my usual morning dose and it didn’t seem to make much difference until later in the day. I also didn’t take a morning dose this morning and it seems somewhat bearable. It doesn’t make sense to me. The sore throat is uncomfortable, but not too painful until I try and swallow something.

I’ve still got a sore throat and my tongue and mouth are still sore as well. I managed to eat some meals containing noodles. On my trip back to San Antonio I had a lay-over in Chicago; I needed to eat so I tried a noodle dish from one of the Asian restaurants there at the food court. It wasn’t too uncomfortable to eat, so I tried a couple of quickie noodle dishes (add water, microwave) from the Asian section of our grocery store when I got home. Other then that I’m still mainly eating soup, boost and yogurt. I’m hovering around 150 lbs, that’s down from around 180 lbs back in December. It wouldn’t bother me too much, but a good portion of those 30 lbs was lean muscle mass not just fat.

I kind of feel like I’ve been hit by a truck today. I feel like I’ve got a cold, except I don’t have any of the head cold symptoms, I’m just achy all over. My hands hurt and I’ve got a band of mild pain that runs from under my arms across my chest. My back feels like I’ve been in the gym doing back exercises.

This could be a Erbitux side effect. One of the other cancer patients that was prescribed Erbitux complained of skin pain a couple of weeks after his treatments had stopped. He said his skin was very sensitive and painful and it hurt having clothes on. I’m hoping my body pain isn’t going that route. I’m not sure I want to take any more time off from work and I doubt Terry would be too impressed if all I wanted to do is sit around the house naked.

Thursday and Friday went well at work. I feel a bit drained during the mid-afternoon, but that may be attributed somewhat to boredom, the main computer I use is down and I’m not able to communicate with some of my European co-workers or access the material on that computer. It’s a good thing I’m a salaried employee and don’t have to account for a certain amount of production.

So, it’s been another unremarkable week as far as my recovery is concerned. I keep expecting to wake up one morning without a sore throat or tongue. I know that’s going to happen one day, I just want it to be sooner rather than later. This coming Tuesday will be 6 weeks since my last radiation treatment and I’m not sure I’ve made much improvement other than not having to take as much pain relief as I was taking then.

So, I guess that’s it for this up-date.

Y’all take care.
Miller, out

Reversal of Fortunes

I started the week out with a full day at work on Monday. It wasn’t easy getting out of bed at 4:45am, but it’s the routine I’ll have to get used to again. Then Tuesday arrived.

About 8:00am Tuesday morning Terry called me at work and said her mother had been admitted to the hospital in Green Bay, Wisconsin with a bowel obstruction. This is the same woman that celebrated her 95th birthday back in mid-April, so it was a serious situation. I made quick airline reservations and we were on our way to Green Bay at 2:30 Tuesday afternoon. We arrived at 8:30pm and went straight to the hospital to find out she had made it through the surgery on her bowel and was resting comfortably. The doctor hoped for a one hour procedure, but it ended up being a four hour surgery.

Our trip to Green Bay was definitely better then the trip Terry made back in April. We left San Antonio and flew to Chicago, had a 2 hour layover and then a 45 minute flight to Green Bay. I popped a Percocet just prior to leaving the house and I took a couple of Tylenol in Chicago. We got a bowl of soup in Chicago and that got me through until we got to Terry’s mother’s home later that night.

So now instead of being the care receiver, I’m now a care giver. We worked out a schedule where Terry, I, Karen (Terry’s niece) and her husband Dave spend about 17 hours of the day in her hospital room. There isn’t much we can do, but for some reason she expects someone to be there. She’s a feisty old coot and keeps everyone on their toes. Even the nurses caught on real quick, she’s not to be messed with. She’ll let you know in no uncertain terms if she’s unhappy with what is going on. She’s not happy about being in the hospital and wants to leave as soon as possible. She didn’t know it at first, but the doctor said she will probably have to spend about 2 weeks in some kind of assisted care before she can go back to living alone in her own home. I think she’s coming around to the idea, but isn’t happy about it. If everything goes ok, she should be released sometime early next week. Meanwhile we’ll be keeping watch over her.

But seeing as this blog is all about “me”, let me give you my update. As I said earlier, I was beginning full days back at work and I guess that was going to work out ok. I’ve pretty much been putting in full days here.

I’m still not on solid food. I’m still doing soft cereal in the morning along with a bottle of Boost for breakfast. For lunch I do another Boost and a carton of yogurt. We found some really good Greek yogurt here in Green Bay, I’ll have to look around and see if I can find it in San Antonio. For dinner we’ve been stopping and picking up some soup. I can get that down ok if the vegetables are cooked soft enough. It sometimes still raises some sores in my mouth eating the soup, but I think that may have something to do with the temperature of the soup when I eat it. I’m going to find something different tomorrow, I’m getting a little tired of soup. This afternoon Terry called me from the hospital and requested that I pick up some take out from one of our favorite restaurants, Kroll’s, they have great hamburgers. I went there ordered a couple of burgers, fries, a chocolate milk shake and some soup. As I was driving from the restaurant to the hospital the smell of the burgers and fries was driving me crazy, I almost pulled over and rubbed the burgers and fries all over me hoping to get the benefit via osmosis.

I woke up with a very sore throat Saturday morning and the Percocet didn’t do much to ease the pain. I went through a bit more Tylenol and Ibuprofen than I probably should have, but I made it through the day. I think the humidity level is really low in the hospital and here in Green Bay and I think that may have an effect on my throat. I only have 10 Percocet left and I want to use it judiciously. I definitely want enough for the trip back to San Antonio.

I guess the biggest obstacle other than having to deal with taking care of Terry’s mother is finding me food to eat that I can get down with as little pain as possible. The usual enjoyment of going home is experiencing the food of our youth and visiting with family and friends. In my condition that enjoyment is muted and I have to sit and watch everyone else enjoy themselves eating all my favorites. I’ll get over it. One day soon I’ll get to eat anything I want. It’s the price I pay now for eternal happiness later on. I’m going to heaven, I’m going to heaven, I’m going to heaven.

So, the adventure continues. I’m making progress I guess, if ever so slight. It’s frustrating that my throat isn’t improving at a more rapid rate, but I have no other option than just plodding along and seeing what life sets before me next week.

Cheers,
Miller, out

Slow progress

Beautiful day, 80 degrees, sitting out on the deck, enjoying the spring weather, a Guinness would be nice, but the throat just won’t cooperate yet. Terry opened a bottle of red wine this weekend and I tried a couple of sips. Alcohol doesn’t seem to bother the throat, but the wine sucks all the wet out of my mouth. It didn’t taste all that good either, looks like it’ll be a while before I’ll be enjoying wine. My sense of taste is coming back, but my mouth isn’t cooperating.

I went back to work this week. I did two ½ days, Wednesday and Thursday, I could get used to going in at 11:00 and getting off at 3:30. Friday, we had an all hands call first thing in the morning so I showed up for that. The boss cut us loose around noon. I plan on full days from now on, starting Monday.

I owe an apology to a few of you out there that thought I was being a bit sassy in my first paragraph of my last blog. I guess my attempt at sarcastic humor failed and ended up coming across a bit caustic. I realize y’all are just checking in to see how I’m doing and you actually look forward to my weekly status update. I’ll do my best to stay on schedule from now on.

Eating solid food isn’t going as well as I expected I seem to be irritating my mouth and throat and it’s become very uncomfortable the last few days. I had cut down to one Percocet a day, but had to push it back up to two due to the discomfort. I’ll try going back to mush and the feeding tube for a few days and see if things improve. I hope this is just a short term set back.

I also went to the gym 3 times this week. Oh my gawd I’m a wimp. In addition to loosing 30 pounds, I’ve lost a lot of my strength. It shouldn’t take too long to get back in shape, as long as I take it easy and don’t push it too much. I can already see an improvement in my stamina and my desire to eat more.

The radiation burn on my neck has pretty much healed. I’m not slathering up with the supper moisturizer, except at night. I’m just using the regular stuff now. That’s a good thing, I’ve trashed a number of T-shirts with the supper moisturizer and I’ll be going back to wearing dress shirts for work, I don’t need to mess any of them up. Speaking of work clothes, I had to hunt around in my closet to find a few pair of pants that fit my new svelte figure. I wonder how long I’ll be able to keep the pounds off.

I guess that’s it for this up-date. Hopefully we’ll see some progress with the throat over the next week.

Cheers,
Miller, out

Groundhog Day - again

Evidently there is someone out there that is living a lonelier, misbegotten, wasted, miserable, life than I currently am, because I heard someone has asked what was going on, I hadn’t posted my blog on Sunday. Get a life! I’ve also become aware there are some unregistered followers (voyeures) who have been following my blog. I hope you’re following my blog as a concerned friend and you are truly interested in my quick and complete recovery. It certainly can’t be because of the writing.

Well, I was a little busy this weekend, I ventured out twice with Terry. Saturday, we went out to run a few errands and make a pilgrimage to Sam’s Club (it’s not the weekend unless we visit Sam’s). On Sunday we went on a shopping expedition for a Black & Decker battery operated, hand held leaf blower. That took 3 stores. We also visited the local nursery to replenish a few plants and to get some herbs.

So, that doesn’t sound like much, but it took a lot out of me and instead of blogging, I took a nap.

Back to the adventure . . .

Terry returned from Green Bay on Monday (an uneventful return trip), the beasties and I were happy to see her and listen to her stories of the grand birthday celebration for her mother.

I made further progress weaning myself off the dreaded narcotic Percocet and actually managed 2 days where I didn’t take any Percs. Notice I only said 2 days. I don’t know if it’s the nature of the healing process or I was operating on residual pain killer, but those two days were relatively pain free, then the pain level went up and I resorted to a modest application of pain relief from Percocet again. I’m down to 1 or 2 a day now with the addition of Tylenol or Ibuprofen. (I’ve got 30 Percocet left, and Dr. Akins didn’t sound like he was inclined to extend my prescription past that remaining amount.)

I’ve visited with all three of my doctors this week and they all seem pleased with my on going recovery, I on the other hand am unimpressed. I expected a much quicker recovery, but it doesn’t seem to be in the cards. I have been gauging my treatment and recovery on how the outside of my neck has reacted to the radiation treatment. The first 10 days or so of my treatment I couldn’t tell much was going on. As time went on my neck began to display signs of the radiation burn and it reached it’s height about 5 – 10 days after my last treatment. I had a serious looking sun burn on my neck. Check out the earlier posted pictures. I could tell by what was going on on the outside of my neck serious things were going on inside my throat. The pain in my throat increased with the obvious damage going on outside on my neck. Once the treatment was over and my neck started to show signs of healing, I figured the same healing was going on in my throat. Nope, not so much.

I can’t explain what’s going on in my throat. One day the upper part of my throat will be sore, the next day the lower part of my throat will be sore, some days my tongue is very sensitive and some days I think I’m making good progress. The next day I’m reaching for the Percocet. And of course I’m fed up and frustrated with the amount of slimy thick mucus saliva. I could stand at the sink and gargle 24 hours a day and still never clear all that crap out of my throat. The doctors tell me it should clear up in a few weeks, or it could hang on for a few months, or maybe never fully clear up. I love it when they are so precise.

Two items of note: One, I returned to the gym today. It’s been about 4 weeks since I last went, mainly due to the radiation burn on my neck. I have lost a lot of weight and my energy level is way down and I know the only way to take care of that is to get back in the gym and start eating better. Which brings me to two; I’ve started eating one meal a day of regular solid food. My sense of taste is returning, ever so slightly, but returning. If I medicate just right and accept a level of serious discomfort I’m able to finish a modest amount of a regular sized meal. On Saturday I made Salmon and grilled vegetables, on Sunday I grilled steak and potatoes and added some of the grilled vegetables left from Saturday. Monday evening we ate left-over’s from Saturday and Sunday. I must say it tasted fine (thanks to the chef), and I did manage to eat about a ladies portion of each meal. But, it was torture. I did not enjoy any of those three meals.

It marks a step forward. I’m not sure why I decided to try solid food, other than I am thoroughly fed up with the pureed gruel I’ve been subsisting on for the last 4 weeks. Maybe somewhere in the back of my mind I’m thinking if I act like everything is normal again then maybe my recovery will accelerate and match my actions. Will my mouth to get better. We’ll see.

Dr. Eller, the doctor that diagnosed my cancer, has taken over my recovery and future treatment. I saw him for the first time since January, when we were deciding what my treatment should be. Both Doctors Richard and Akins will not see me again for 2 – 3 months, to follow-up on my chemo/radiation side effects. So they have pretty much turned me back over to Dr. Eller. When I saw him last Friday, he did a very thorough examination and scoped my throat. There was no sign of the tumor on my tongue (woo, hooo !!!!) He is cautiously optimistic things are going well. We plan on scheduling a full body PET scan sometime in late June or early July to search for any other occurrences of cancer. He did reiterate my prognosis is good and if the PET scan comes back negative, I’ve got a very good chance of spending a good number of years enjoying a healthy long life. (this is where everyone crosses their fingers)

I plan on returning to work this week, probably on Wednesday. I figure half days at first, then we’ll see how it goes next week. I hope to make it as easy on my co-workers as possible. I’ll try and not fall asleep at my desk, I will not put anything in my feeding tube while at my desk, and I’ll try and keep the spitting to a minimum. (maybe I’ll borrow one of Stu’s spit canteens)

Let me close by going back to the first paragraph. This hasn’t been a fun experience and it’s far from over, and I thank you for checking in on me, I am humbled. But I’ve spent enough time roaming around the Wilford Hall Medical Center on Lackland Air Force Base to know I’m in pretty good shape compared to many others also roaming the halls of that hospital. Many are retired veterans and some recovering wounded, young airmen having just entered the Air Force going to sick call for the first time, that uncounted number of devoted dependants that followed (or are following) their spouses around the world and one hell of a dedicated group of medical professionals bent on getting us all through our medical misfortunes. It makes me feel a bit insignificant, and yet, proud to be a member of that rabble.

Check back next week.
Miller, out

Progress? Maybe some.

My feet hurt. I know most of you just check in to see what my current status is and hope I will report some improvement. I do know there is one Dutch guy out there that just checks in to see what new plague has befallen me. It did seem that for a number of weeks something new and painful was dropping in to say hello on a regular basis.

The last time I spoke with Dr. Richard we discussed whether I really needed the last chemo treatment. We decided to go ahead and do it. I figured my body had gotten used to it, we hadn’t seen any new side effects, so what could it hurt. Well, my feet hurt. I can’t logically connect it with the radiation treatment (but I’m just the patient), so I’m thinking it’s the Erbitux, chemo treatment. One of the listed side effects of Erbitux is drying and cracking of the skin around the thumbs and finger nails, this also applies to the big toes. Where is my pain you ask? If you were lying on the floor on your back the area between 5 o’clock and 8 o’clock on the outside portion of your heel (that portion that would be touching whatever it is you’re lying on), it also radiates in towards the ball of the heel itself. This portion of the heel is fairly well calloused. It’s not an uncomfortable pain, just noticeable. It just makes me think, what next?

Not much to report this week. I haven’t noticed any real changes for the better except the left side of my neck where the radiation burn is seems to be getting better. The right side still has some very tender areas. I can also see a difference in color where the skin has healed versus the tender skin. My main job is to keep the area clean and moist.

On Tuesday I saw Dr. Akins and the nurses. We had a long discussion concerning my pain medication. We both agreed that I was still in need, but that I should start to back off as soon as I am able. I started cutting back on Thursday and I will only take 5 Percocet today (Sunday). I think by the end of next week I should be able to limit the Percocet to just meal time and go back to Tylenol for pain management. I told him we had decided that I wouldn’t travel to Green Bay, that it just wouldn’t be smart at this time. Too many medications, still eating through the feeding tube etc., he agreed, that was probably smart. Little did we know it was probably a great decision.

On Wednesday Terry left the house at approx 8:15am and traveled to Green Bay via Dallas, TX and Chicago. Her plane was delayed landing in Dallas and she then missed 3 following flights to Chicago. Once in Chicago she was delayed again and didn’t arrive at her mother’s house until around 9:00pm. That would have been devastating for me had I traveled with her. I wouldn’t have been able to eat, and I would have had real problems taking my pain medication. Although I really wanted to be at her mother’s 95th birthday party, we sure made the right decision.

On the brighter side, I did get to spend some quality couch time this weekend watching the Master’s golf tournament. On the down side, the dogs didn’t get breakfast until I got up. Normally, Terry feeds them around 4:30am during the week and around 6:00am on the weekends. They have her trained real good. They don’t bug me in the morning, they know I’m not getting up until I’m ready.

So, while I didn’t see much healing progress this week, I did manage to reduce the pain medication. I see doctors Richard and Eller later next week, hopefully I’ll have something good to report.

Cheers,
Miller, out

Treatment Complete !

Monday and Tuesday went well. Nothing new to say about the treatment except, I’m glad it’s over. Terry and I went out last week end and got a couple of baskets and filled them with munchies (cookies, crackers, sports bars, chips, chocolate etc.) and sports type drinks. I presented them to the nurses and technicians at both the chemo and radiation clinics. They were all great to me during the treatments and while the doctors get all the credit for the diagnostics and treatment development and stuff, it’s the nurses and techies that actually perform the treatments and have to deal with the patients on a daily basis. They are the life savers and deserve more credit.

I have follow-up appointments set up with everyone in a couple of weeks.

I guess you’d think this is time for celebration and rejoice, but I don’t feel any better. While the actual treatments are over, I’ve got to keep in mind that the “treatment” is all cumulative and so the chemo and radiation are still working their thing for another 10 – 14 days. I’m pretty much just in maintenance mode right now. Once I see improvement in my condition, lower pain medication, ability to eat and swallow, lessening of the mucus slimy saliva, then I guess I will celebrate. I have become my PEG. If I’m not using it to take in medication, I’m using it to take in nutrition or hydration. It seems like every couple of hours I’m hooking up for one reason or another. I also sleep a lot. I only sleep in one hour blocks of time, so I’m not sure it’s very restful, but it does pass the time.

Here’s a picture of me all slathered up.



I slather-up three times a day. I don’t see where it has improved anything, but it keeps the area of radiation burn moisturized and that in itself relives pain. Without the moisturizer, the affected area would dry up, crack and all sorts of nasty stuff would happen. Not to mention it would hurt like hell.

Because I’m not going in to work I haven’t been able to catch up with John Winegardner, co-worker extraordinaire. He mailed a great card from the NEDBAG members, a great book from the Spanish delegation and some Guinness paraphernalia (I can only guess from who). I’ve also received some great cards and emails from friends, family and co-workers. I’ve tried to keep up with thank you emails to everyone, but I’ve probably missed a few. Believe me; I am very touched by your personal comments and support. I’ve never been a touchy – feely, wear my emotion on my sleeve kind of guy. I’ve heard stoic a few times in the past. I believe this bout with cancer qualifies as a life event. At least that’s what one of my former insurance companies would classify it. It has changed me physically and psychologically, emotionally, all for the better I hope.

Prior to this event I had been looking out 30 or 40 years into the future, I don’t think I can do that anymore. That’s a hard one to get my head around right now. What time frames do I use? 1, 3, 5, 10, 25 years, or should I even worry about it at all? I’m not a live for the moment kind of guy and I don’t see that changing.

However, before this goes down some dark rabbit hole, I believe I would need a couple of cool Guinness and that ain’t happening for a while, so I’ll leave it at that.

Cheers, y’all!

I hope that light I see at the end of the tunnel isn’t a train . . . .

28 March 2010

Terry has started driving me to the hospital for my daily treatments. She says I’m taking too many pain killers to drive. (I respectively disagree) (but she still drives).

The new radiation treatment has resulted in a sore throat more down towards my chest and what seems to be a serious sun burn around my neck. We did raise my pain meds, but stayed with Percocet. I now take 8 pills a day (2 every 6 hours). I’m never totally pain free. I’ve gotten real good at crushing pills.

Tuesday was a full day. I missed an appointment with my chemo Doctor on Monday morning. I called and apologized and they set me up with a walk-in appointment on Tuesday, because I was going to be there for my regular chemo treatment. I showed up at my regular 7:30am and the doctor was waiting for me. We had a very good discussion about my case, how treatment was going, how I was feeling, the usual stuff.
Dr. Richard has taken a real interest in my case and asks a lot of questions. We talked about our decision to have the PEG (feeding tube) installed prior to treatment and we both agreed it was one of the best decisions ever made. I can’t even think how uncomfortable I would be if I didn’t have the PEG. I’m sure I would have been admitted to the hospital for lack of nutrition and hydration by now. He keeps telling me I’m doing better than expected, due to my age and physical condition. I’m probably 20 – 30 years younger than most of his patients.

He sent me on my way and I checked in with the staff at the chemo clinic, they drew labs and set me up for the days treatment. About half way through the treatment Dr, Richard came in with a copy of my lab results and was concerned that my potassium level was low. Potassium is both an electrolyte and a mineral. It helps keep the water (the amount of fluid inside and outside the body's cells) and electrolyte balance of the body. Potassium is also important in how nerves and muscles work. Potassium levels can be affected by how the kidneys are working, the blood pH, the amount of potassium you eat, the hormone levels in your body, severe vomiting, and taking certain medicines. (WebMD) So, he prescribed a dose of potassium and a prescription for me to take home and administer during the coming week. Just my luck the dose of potassium he prescribed was going to take 4 hours via IV. We finished up my regular chemo treatment and I trundled off to the dungeon for a radiation treatment. Once that was finished, it was back up to chemo to be hooked up to the potassium bag.

Earlier in the day the plan was for Terry to drop me off at the hospital and for my niece to pick me up at approx 1:30pm and take me home. Well this low potassium thing threw a wrench in the works for that schedule. I called Lissa, my niece, and told her I was going to be late and that I would contact Terry and we would work out a solution to picking me up later in the day. It all worked out ok, Terry had a late meeting and didn’t finish up until after 4 o’clock. She came and picked me up on her way home from work. Needless to say, none of this would have been an issue if they had let me drive.

On Wednesday Terry drove me to my radiation appointment. She had never seen what goes on during a treatment. I brought along my camera to document the event. The below pictures are of me and the treatment mask that attaches me to the treatment table my dislike of the tongue depressor thingy, (you can also see some of the radiation burn) and me lying on the treatment table., None of the pictures are very good, but they give you an idea what the treatment is like. That large disk above my head in the last picture rotates around my head stopping at specific points and dispenses a timed dose of radiation. It takes about five minutes per treatment.

On Wednesday I also met with Dr. Atkins after my radiation treatment and we discussed raising my pain medication. We decided to keep me on the 8 pills a day, because I only had 3 treatments left. If I could manage on that level of pain relief for another week or so, my pain relief requirement should start to drop the farther I got a way from my last treatment. I run out of pills on Monday the 29th, we’ll discuss it again.

He turned me over to his nurses to get my vital signs and weight and to dispense some more moisturizer. Being as Terry was with me, they ganged up on me and decided I wasn’t putting enough moisturizer on and they would show me how it’s done. The nurse took out a new glove and a new tube of super duper moisturizer and proceeded to slather me up real good. By the time she was done, from my chin down to my collar bone and completely around my neck, it looked like I was covered in mayonnaise or lard (you choose). They both agreed that was the way it should be done. I was not impressed. I have agreed to slather up real good in the future. I won’t leave the house looking like that, but when I’m at home and just prior to going to bed I do slather up.

They also decided I wasn’t taking in enough nutrition. I needed to up the amount of protein supplements (boost, ensure, protein drinks etc.) or I was going to loose too much weight. The nurse gave me a case of boost plus. I now drink at least 3 of those a day and an 8 oz portion of the vegetable/sports drink stuff. It smells like Hawaiian Punch and V8 juice combined. Argh! I also eat some kind of breakfast and usually a bowl of soup for dinner.

That was Wednesday, I was starting to feel pretty good. Treatments were almost over; pain seemed to be under control. I had enough moisturizer to last any one man a life time or two. Maybe I was going to get through this ok.

Thursday – maybe not so much. I woke up with a serious sore throat, thick stringy mucous flowing like that nasty beast from Aliens, and a very tender neck. It got better as the day went on and Friday was somewhat better. Fridays always call for celebration, end of the week, two day break, only 2 more treatments to go.

Sunday, Terry has been nursing a sore shoulder all weekend. She has somehow aggravated an old injury and she trundled herself off to the emergency room at the break of dawn. She woke me up and through both of our pain, we managed to agree she needed to go to the emergency room. Some hours later, she woke me up again and explained her situation. Old injury, lots of pain, lots of pain killers, take it easy on the couch all day. What a pair we make.

I won’t discuss food this week, needless to say meal time sucks. I will get better, eating will become a pleasure. SOOOOON !!!!!!

Next weeks report will be better.